just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
