ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
