Christians are straight up FREAKS
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Randomize
