Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
