it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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