I can tuck mytits in my pants
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
