why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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