I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
