I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
