It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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