Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
