I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
