I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
