I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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