So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You were trust falling into bushes
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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