I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm always down for nudity.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize