I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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