So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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