Fine. I'll sleep in my office
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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