were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
