i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
