I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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