I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
