if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
