Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
