well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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