I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
