dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize