Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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