Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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