in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
