If i come over, it means nothing
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
