Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
