I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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