I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
