Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
