Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
