I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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