Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize