Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
