You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i think my cat just said my name.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
