I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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