What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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