I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize