My friends, they love my intelligence
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
