I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize