You made me cry and you don't even care
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
