Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
