your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
