Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
