he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
