I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
