We won't sleep together?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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