question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
