i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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