Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
