I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
