just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
