Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
