I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
