"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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