so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
