wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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