The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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