we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
