saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
