what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So much rum. So many feels.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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