You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
