Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
