i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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