My balls are so social today.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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