plz talk dirty to me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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