Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
