The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
