i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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